1 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,471 Look at that speed. 2 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,805 Damien. 3 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,265 He's clocking at 9 miles per hour. 4 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:18,602 Ooh! Let's get his info. 5 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,521 Paris team is looking good. 6 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,272 They were the laughingstock of the Hospitality Olympics 7 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,691 last year, but they've really turned things around. 8 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,485 They've got a strong anchor. 9 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,819 Mm. 10 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,364 She's quick, but I worry about precision. 11 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,991 We're only staffing the best of the best at the Diva. 12 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,244 Ooh, is that what you're calling the casino? 13 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,745 Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,039 The Diva. I like that. 15 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,249 Diva. 16 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,378 Ooh! Look at that little one. 17 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,548 He lets the suck of the vacuum pull him. 18 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,841 He'll be less prone to injury. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,677 Smart. 20 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,599 Okay. Done. 21 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,185 - I like his passion. - No. Can't do it. 22 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,604 - Horrible at trivia. - Call it. Call it, ref. 23 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,522 Yes! Who do you think you are? 24 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,524 I am. 25 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,859 I am Ray, motherfuckers! 26 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,279 Pretty good. 27 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,863 Come on, let's go. It needs to be perfect. 28 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,448 Work for this. Work for this. 29 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:16,118 This is where a hotel succeeds or fails-- 30 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:17,286 a well-made bed. 31 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,745 That's almost all there is. 32 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,956 Look at him in the vest. 33 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,000 I like the way he handles the top sheet. 34 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,751 Go, Sophie! Go! Go! 35 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:25,877 I did not wanna bring you tonight. 36 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,878 Prove me wrong! 37 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,714 He's a surgeon. 38 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:32,426 Quick but measured, efficient but not careless. 39 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,426 Fold that top! 40 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,137 Hospital corners! 41 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,763 We went over this, Sophie! 42 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,098 Jesus Christ! 43 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,140 Check, check. 44 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,312 Whoo! Yes! 45 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,944 I am the best bedmaker in the world! 46 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,782 Okay, girl, I see you. 47 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,411 - I'm buzzed, buzzed. - Moment of truth. 48 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,537 Buzzed, buzzed. 49 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,082 - Good girl! - See? I'm on your side, girl. 50 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,459 Oh. 51 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,252 You know what I miss? Go Fish. 52 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,878 Mom! Mom! 53 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:09,880 Hi, guys. 54 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,256 Mom, I need you. 55 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,717 Oh, no, honey. Is Aidan leaving you? 56 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,302 This is what men do. 57 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,928 They leave. 58 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,472 Okay, you gotta make sure that all the vehicles 59 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,681 - are in your name. - No. 60 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,766 - Are they? - No, no, no, no. 61 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,434 - Are they? - Mom! 62 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,728 They're finally doing "Celebrity Amazing Race"! 63 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,564 - Oh. - Remember? 64 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,815 You said that you would go on it with me 65 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,026 - if they ever made it? - Oh. 66 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,235 Oh, yeah. 67 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,487 No, DJ, you know that I'm gagged. 68 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,571 I can't do any TV. 69 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,281 No performing for months. 70 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,991 Nice try. I called your lawyer. 71 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,618 - You called Stewart? - Well, that's what you get 72 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,411 for suing me for criminal negligence 73 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,288 for breaking Grandma's teapot, okay? 74 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,457 Stewart and I have developed a lovely working relationship, 75 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,334 and he says you're in the clear, 76 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,420 as long as this season airs after the non-compete expires. 77 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,798 - And it does! So suck it! - No. 78 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,633 You are not allowed to do a reality show. 79 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,218 That has always been our rule. 80 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,845 Mom, this is really important to me, okay? 81 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,223 You know it's important to me. 82 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,308 "Amazing Race" got me sober. 83 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:07,270 Excuse me, I think $400,000 worth of rehab got you sober. 84 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,064 Nope, that failed. 85 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,774 Episodes of "The Amazing Race" got me through 86 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,359 some really dark times, okay? 87 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,944 Phil Keoghan is my higher power. 88 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,529 And you promised me that if I got sober, 89 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,406 we would go on it together. 90 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,032 Okay. Okay. 91 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,659 You're right. I'll think about it. 92 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,035 Yeah, think about it. 93 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,453 But I need an answer by 5:00, okay? 94 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,454 Plus, if we win, we get a million dollars, 95 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,249 which covers my allowance for the year. 96 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,377 Well, honey, I think all that money goes to charity. 97 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,379 Oh, fuck! Really? Ugh. 98 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,089 That's so stupid. You know what? 99 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,007 I'm sure there's a workaround. I still wanna do it. 100 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,386 I'm gonna go practice driving on the wrong side of the road. 101 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,887 - Christ. - Yeah. 102 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,514 Look, I don't think it's the worst thing 103 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,182 in the world for you to go on a reality show. 104 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,892 I mean, there'll be a big announcement revealing 105 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,144 the cast, and you can get them to plug 106 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,562 MSG in the press release. 107 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,272 You know, she's right. 108 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,774 Reality shows do give celebrities fresh relevance. 109 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,776 That's true. 110 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,486 But the problem with reality shows is, 111 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,238 you cannot control the narrative. 112 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,323 I mean, that's why I've turned down Andy Cohen 113 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,908 more than every twink on Fire Island. 114 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,827 And they can make you look however they want. 115 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,954 I mean, don't worry about me, but I mean, they could really 116 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,831 make DJ look like a fool. 117 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,083 I mean, she doesn't seem too worried to me. 118 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,293 Yeah. 119 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,003 And having her as my teammate, 120 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,464 we'd probably be out in the first leg. 121 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,214 I could be home in a week. 122 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,468 You do need to sell tickets. 123 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,971 Well, I guess it looks like I'm doing "The Amazing Race." 124 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,473 Whoo! 125 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,141 Girl, I cannot wait to watch your ass. 126 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,934 Gonna be great. 127 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,651 Oh, that's bad too. 128 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,945 Food waste is so depressing. 129 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,281 You know this is the fourth blackout we've had this year? 130 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,158 It's the sixth. 131 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,534 Two happened during separate 12-hour naps you were taking. 132 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,537 Not sleeps, naps. 133 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,539 And you slept those nights too. 134 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,207 That's even worse. 135 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,126 Thank God I'm such a good napper or I'd be even more 136 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,045 stressed out about the climate crisis. 137 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,880 And don't monitor my sleep. 138 00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:57,923 It's private. 139 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,466 But it's fascinating. 140 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,515 - Jimbo! What's up? - Hey. 141 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,266 So I just finished lunch with Jessica Duncan, 142 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,810 and I have great news. 143 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,394 She loves the "Who's Making Dinner" idea. 144 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,563 - She wants to hear it. - Are you serious? 145 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,649 Yeah, she flipped out. 146 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,150 - Are you peeing? - What? 147 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,360 Call me back if you're peeing. 148 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,945 I can talk to you in a second. 149 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,655 No, I'm making coffee, although I have peed 150 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,864 while we were on the phone before. 151 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,699 Okay. 152 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,243 Anyway, I wanna get you and Deborah in a room with her. 153 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,577 Is Deborah excited? 154 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,662 Because this could be really big. 155 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,914 Um, I have not yet-- 156 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,499 I haven't talked to Deborah yet. 157 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,292 Well, you need to ASAP. 158 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:38,421 Also, I do need to flag one issue with the rights. 159 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,132 Apparently, when Frank died, he left them to Kathy. 160 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,843 Please tell me you mean Najimy. 161 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,427 Why would I mean Kathy Najimy? 162 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,638 No, Kathy, her sister, the one who hates her. 163 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,056 I even tried to grease the wheels. 164 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,808 I gave her a call today, but she wanted 165 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,226 to get off the phone because she said I was, quote, 166 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,144 "an enabler of her abuser." - Whew. 167 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,646 Which I think is unfair, but you know what? 168 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,273 We all have our narratives, so whatever. 169 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,357 Whatever to her. 170 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,525 She's a fucking bitch. 171 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,652 Okay, well, uh, I'll-- 172 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,153 I'll talk to Deborah. 173 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,697 Let me know what our girl says. 174 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:04,948 And if she is not happy, don't tell me. 175 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,616 Just internalize it. 176 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,705 I think you're packing too much stuff. 177 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,124 Do you really have room for six rolls of toilet paper? 178 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,667 Oh, you can't just downgrade 179 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,377 your toilet tissue out of nowhere. 180 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,712 I haven't had time to build up any kind of a tolerance. 181 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,338 It's a shock to the system. 182 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,798 I mean, you can go to the hospital. 183 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,924 Totally. 184 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,385 Um, hey, while I have you... 185 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,512 so you know how I have that blind script deal? 186 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,431 Mm-hmm. 187 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,850 Well, I figured out what I wanna do. 188 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,062 I wanna reboot "Who's Making Dinner?" 189 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,731 - Oh. - Um, yeah. 190 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,357 It would take place in the same house, 191 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,526 but instead of a young couple, it would follow 192 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,403 some Gen Z friends who have to all 193 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,779 live together to afford it. 194 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,406 I could pitch it, and then you could just, 195 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,949 like, totally rewrite it if you wanted to. 196 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,451 Like, just whichever version works for you, 197 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,952 I feel like, yeah, down with. 198 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,747 But I just wanted to run it by you, because-- 199 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,540 I--I really don't wanna do a reboot 200 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,792 of "Who's Making Dinner?" 201 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,252 Okay. 202 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,962 But you should. 203 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,672 No, no. 204 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,883 No, no, I--I wouldn't wanna do it without you. 205 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:08,261 No, no, no, I'm moving forward with the Garden, 206 00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,722 but I give you my blessing. 207 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,515 Are you sure? 208 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,976 I mean, I know it's, like, triggering for you 209 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,979 when people rewrite your story. 210 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,815 Well, I would trust you to do it. 211 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,778 Thanks. 212 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:25,820 I won't let you down. 213 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,989 I know. 214 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,033 But you know, I don't have the rights. 215 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,284 So I can't help you with that. 216 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,287 Well, maybe you can. 217 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:49,010 Look at that headshot. 218 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,304 It's at least 20 years old. 219 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,891 We have two offers already, and two others are writing. 220 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:57,060 So if you're interested, I suggest 221 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,396 - you come in aggressively. - Okay, great, thanks. 222 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,858 What the hell are you doing here? 223 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,485 Nice bones, Kathy. 224 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,195 Not you, the house. 225 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,738 How did you find me? 226 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,699 Do you still have that PI following me? 227 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,951 PI? What PI? 228 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,037 He died. 229 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,497 Is there somewhere we can sit? 230 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,707 If we must. 231 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,546 I was surprised you weren't at the christening. 232 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,215 - What? - We--we both were. 233 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,009 I'm AJ's godmother. 234 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,011 I am AJ's godmother. 235 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,220 Oh, God. 236 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,722 DJ must have had two christenings. 237 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,682 You wanna alternate months? 238 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,269 So, listen-- 239 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:40,979 I know why you're here. 240 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,482 I talked to Jimmy against the advice of my healer. 241 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,152 Deborah, you are not getting the rights to that show. 242 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,695 The thing is, they're not-- they're not for Deborah. 243 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,655 - They're for me. - Ha, sure. 244 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,073 No, really, they are. 245 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,158 What are you going to do with them? 246 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,242 Nothing. 247 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,577 Well, you don't know that. 248 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,661 I journal. 249 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,787 So what's your price? 250 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,164 You obviously need the money. 251 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,582 I don't remember you having a passion 252 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,208 for selling real estate. 253 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,918 You weren't even good at playing house. 254 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,837 Well, you always made me be the maid. 255 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,380 Well, you were a natural. 256 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,758 I'm surprised you could remember anything at all. 257 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,511 I read that you had a psychotic break live on air. 258 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,805 No surprise there. Hope you're getting help. 259 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,099 Just like you got help in the '90s with Prozac? 260 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,934 How did you-- 261 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,561 I had DJ go through your trash like a good little girl. 262 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,314 Okay, my sisters, let's turn the volume down. 263 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:29,694 Kathy, is there anything we could do to change your mind? 264 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:34,574 Well, there is one thing. 265 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,077 - No. No. Let's go. - What? 266 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,828 When we were little, our mother had these 267 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,247 - salt and pepper shakers. - Do not waste your breath! 268 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,542 They were cherubic, porcelain little blonde girls. 269 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,336 She used to say they looked exactly like us. 270 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,171 We loved them. 271 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,590 That's why we started shaker collections of our own. 272 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,176 Then when Mom passed, Deborah stole them from me. 273 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,761 I never stole them! 274 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,846 Mom said she always wanted me to have them. 275 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,973 I'll give you the rights if you give me back the shakers. 276 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,642 Which is never gonna happen. See? 277 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,311 She's deliberately crushing your dreams. 278 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,563 It's sadistic, really. This woman is sick. 279 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:10,193 This woman is sick! 280 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,988 - Let's leave. - Sorry. 281 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,491 Don't even think about coming back without those shakers! 282 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,953 Oh. 283 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,538 Window's cracked. Candles are lit. 284 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,957 There's mold. Run. Run. 285 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,128 Hello. 286 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,340 I'm sorry. 287 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,341 I would pay anything. 288 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,843 I just can't-- 289 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,344 - I can't do that. - I get it. 290 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,679 I get it. That's okay. 291 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,721 Thank you for trying. 292 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,654 "Amazing Race" contestants, take your places, please. 293 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,159 Oh, my God, this is the best day of my life. 294 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,869 Thank you so much for doing this. 295 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,245 Well, you're welcome, sweetie. 296 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,746 But just remember our deal, okay? 297 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,123 - You're representing the family. - Yeah. 298 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,624 - So when on camera... - Mm-hmm. 299 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,959 - No swearing. - Right. 300 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,669 - No unladylike behavior. - Mm-hmm. 301 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,379 No talking back. 302 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,756 Okay, I mean, when in doubt, ask yourself, WWMD? 303 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,718 - What Would Mommy Do? I know! - Yes, What Would Mommy Do? 304 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,011 - I understand. - Don't talk back. 305 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,138 I didn't. I talked with. 306 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,389 - We said the same thing. - Okay. 307 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,433 - Hey, everyone! - Yes, Phil! 308 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:26,811 I would officially like to welcome you all 309 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,188 to "The Amazing Race." 310 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,777 Now, since this is our first celebrity race, 311 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,487 why don't we just talk a little bit 312 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,323 about why you are taking part. 313 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,451 Drew and Jonathan, what inspired you to be here today? 314 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:45,580 Well, we love to compete, so not if, but when we win-- 315 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,457 - Very confident. - Yeah. 316 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:48,790 - Yeah. - Okay. 317 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,043 We're gonna be donating our prize money 318 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,711 to the Alzheimer's Association. 319 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,254 We have a family member who died from Alzheimer's. 320 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,632 So we're going on this journey for the patients 321 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,551 and doctors who are running the much harder race, 322 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,136 - the one for a cure. - Okay. 323 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,804 That's a great cause. Great cause. 324 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,973 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 325 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,892 Now, JR and Richard. 326 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,561 We are playing for the United Negro College Fund, 327 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,147 who also support HBCUs throughout the country. 328 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,149 Yeah, and the million dollars that we are going to win... 329 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,651 - Absolutely. - Correct. 330 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,736 That's just a fraction of the $26 million 331 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,863 that the United Negro College Fund donates 332 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,240 every single year to scholarships. 333 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,866 Awesome. Another great cause. 334 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,163 Now, what about you, Deborah and DJ Vance? 335 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,791 I'm here to promote my comeback show 336 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:34,212 at Madison Square Garden, September 11th. 337 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,339 Okay. 338 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,049 How about we get this race started, everybody? 339 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,301 Yeah! 340 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,471 Are you ready for your life-changing adventure? 341 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,139 - Yes, we are. - Let's do it! 342 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,641 - Let's go. - Good luck. 343 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,810 Travel safe. 344 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,353 Go! 345 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,900 - Go, go, go, go! - Come on! 346 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,527 Oh, this is gonna be interesting. 347 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,489 Go, go, go, go! 348 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,368 Grab it, grab it, grab it! 349 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,541 Okay, drive yourselves to LAX and fly to Oaxaca, Mexico. 350 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,668 When you land, make your way to Campo, Los Molinos. 351 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,503 You have $50 for this leg of the race. 352 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,505 - All right. Bag, bag, bag! - Okay, okay. 353 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,173 I'm sweating. I already stink. 354 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,967 Oh, no, no, no, no, honey, we have talked about 355 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,427 a razorback cut on your shoulders! 356 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,179 Stop it! Get in the car! 357 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,939 They'll be expecting us. Get to-- 358 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:35,982 - Right there! - Right there, yeah. 359 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,445 Your next flight to Oaxaca, Mexico, please. 360 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,821 Hola. 361 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,197 We want the same flight they're getting! 362 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,615 Yes, please, please. Hi, Deborah. 363 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,783 I'm like--I'm-- I love you so much. 364 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,535 - I have to say... - Aw, thank you. 365 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,287 I went as you for Halloween all of middle school. 366 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,913 Got the fucking shit kicked out of me. 367 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,248 Worth it! 368 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,790 No, I'm obsessed with you. 369 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,961 Jordan just told me you do comedy too. 370 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,338 He had to tell you that? 371 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,256 Well, now that I know, I'm obsessed. 372 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,008 We should totally work together, 373 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,177 the blonde comedy girls. 374 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,887 - You're a comedian? - Yeah! 375 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,305 Well, I can also talk really, really, really fast. 376 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,639 And what else? Oh! 377 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,391 I can do ASMR. 378 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,809 Do you feel that? 379 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,311 Do you feel it on the back of your neck? 380 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,937 She's major. She's generational talent. 381 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,814 And this is online comedy? 382 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,025 Well, I've also done Broadway and the Hollywood Bowl. 383 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,611 Yeah, she sold out in like, under two seconds. 384 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,321 Yeah, it was super fun. 385 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,073 So should we make this official? 386 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,576 - Alliance, allianciana? - Allianciana! 387 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:31,329 We could call ourselves the Funny Honeys. 388 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,747 I don't--I don't-- 389 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,374 I don't think so, thanks. 390 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,459 Wait, no, Mom. Mom, no, no. 391 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,086 Alliances are a huge part of the race. 392 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,796 Yeah. Okay, so listen. 393 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,547 What if there's a puzzle and we can't figure it out? 394 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,299 Don't you want them to give us a hint on their way out? 395 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,218 That happens literally all the time. 396 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,427 Absolutely not. 397 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,845 She says we're both comedians. 398 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,055 How dare she compare herself to me? 399 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,681 Oh, God. 400 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,016 They will get last and we will win this race. 401 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,518 Come on. Let's go. 402 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,942 Get out of my way! 403 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,320 Don't be afraid to shove! Don't be afraid to shove! 404 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:07,365 Move it, move it, move it, move it! 405 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,950 Okay, miss, this is not YouTube. 406 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,868 Okay, I got it. I got it. We gotta go. I got it. 407 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,206 No, no, no! Deborah! 408 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,999 - Deborah! - Get out of it. 409 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,376 - Get in the goddamn cab! - You're gonna steal the car? 410 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,585 You know what? Hang on. 411 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,795 - I'm sorry. - I get it. 412 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,088 It's good TV. It's good TV. 413 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,214 What can I say? 414 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,590 We need to go there. 415 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,092 Are you paying "atten-see-on?" 416 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,844 This is very important. 417 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,596 We are in a race for 1 million "doleros." 418 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,348 Rapido! Rapido! 419 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,434 Let's go! 420 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,409 Oh, damn it. 421 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,786 I was hoping they'd be stranded and abducted. 422 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:56,080 Where are the kidnappers from Sinaloa drug cartel 423 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,915 - when you need them? - Ooh, it's a Roadblock. 424 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,500 That means only one of us can complete the challenge. 425 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,794 Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. 426 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,171 Who's the big cheese? 427 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,922 Oh, this one's addressed to me. 428 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,424 Mom, every single contestant is a celebrity, okay? 429 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,675 I can't open it! 430 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,218 What's wrong with your finger? 431 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,804 Okay, yeah! 432 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,890 I understood every word of that. 433 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,892 Transport a wheel of cheese down the hill 434 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,935 using a traditional antique cheese rack. 435 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,812 Once there, you will receive your next clue. 436 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,731 - Ha, okay. - Okay, all right. 437 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,649 Okay, now this sounds complex. I think I should do this one. 438 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,109 - No. No, no, no, no, no, no. - You're not that coordinated. 439 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,444 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. 440 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,778 Hopefully we can complete this quick 441 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,197 and catch up to the other teams. 442 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,490 Wait, honey, honey, your flyaways. 443 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,491 - Stop! - Okay, all right. 444 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,742 Can she take that again? 445 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,928 What are you doing? Are you tying it? 446 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:52,970 Just tie the cheese. 447 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,558 Trish. 448 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,143 That's it, DJ! 449 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,063 I wanted to say before, um, 450 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,106 I know you got canceled, smear campaigned and everything. 451 00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,192 I just wanted to say, like, from cancel queen 452 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,694 to cancel queen, like, it hurts the soul, helps the wallet. 453 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,988 So if I could give you any advice, 454 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,323 you know--who am I to say? 455 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,742 I'm, you know, 19. 456 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,453 Okay, baby! 457 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:19,329 You got this! 458 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,002 That's it, girl. Come on, honey. 459 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,378 No, no. 460 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,923 Plan every footstep but don't hunch. 461 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,466 You're on camera. 462 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,718 Steady, steady. 463 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,388 Trisha, where are you? 464 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,933 Oh, there she is. You got this, Trish. 465 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,228 Okay, okay. 466 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,439 Oh, my God! 467 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,775 Oh, she's rolling. 468 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,402 Oops. 469 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,745 - Shit, shit, shit! - Oh, my God! 470 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,914 Oh, my ankle! 471 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,124 Honey, stop whimpering. Stop whimpering. 472 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,458 It shows weakness. 473 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,919 All right. Sweetie, one more thing. 474 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,838 You're gonna have to get back up and grab the cheese 475 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,840 and finish the challenge, okay? 476 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,634 Fuck! 477 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:14,802 She's good. 478 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,304 She's good. 479 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,012 - Ava. - Ooh! Oh, hey. 480 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,264 - What are you doing? - Me? Just me? 481 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,224 - Yeah. - Oh, nothing. 482 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,143 Or I just came down to get a midnight snack, 483 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,770 but then by the time I got here, 484 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,313 I was not hungry anymore 'cause the house is so big 485 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,689 and it took me so long to get down here. 486 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:09,690 - Totally. - What's up with you? 487 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:10,983 What are you doing up? 488 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,902 - Just walking the dogs. - Okay. 489 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,779 At this hour? That's curious. 490 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,906 Well, when Deborah's out of town, they get super anxious 491 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:21,494 and just like, shit everywhere. 492 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,287 Sorry. I'm so tired. 493 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,164 Oh. 494 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,916 I gotta go to bed. 495 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,794 But yeah, it was good to see you. 496 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,170 - Good night. - I'm gonna go. 497 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,672 This is me. I'm headed this way. 498 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,923 - My room over here. - I know. Good night. 499 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,007 Okay, good night. 500 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,884 Good night, Damien. 501 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,302 Okay. 502 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,682 Now I kind of want a snack. 503 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,487 Ah! Ah. 504 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,740 - My God, honey, be careful. - Okay. 505 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,242 This--that's the last clue. 506 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,785 - That means we're the last team. - No! 507 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,578 Oh, I have to beat that idiot woman. 508 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,539 We can still make up time. Okay? We can make up time. 509 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,083 Because in this race, the game's not over 510 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,751 until you're standing on that mat 511 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,378 and Phil says you're eliminated. 512 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,546 Right, it's another Roadblock. 513 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,589 "Who's got milk?" - Ooh. 514 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,299 Okay now, sweetie, why don't you sit this one out? 515 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,843 - What? What? No! - Rest your ankle. 516 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,469 But Mom, what if it's a food challenge? 517 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,887 We both know you are not gonna be caught dead 518 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,431 eating full-fat dairy on camera, 519 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,015 - so I will be doing it. - Well, that's true, 520 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,225 but you didn't do so well in the last Roadblock. 521 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,560 I--I--I did fine! 522 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,145 Mom, this is my dream, all right? 523 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,855 And I said I would be doing the Roadblock, 524 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,940 so the rules say that I have to do the Roadblock. 525 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,400 - Okay? - All right. 526 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,568 - Milk a goat... - Milk a goat. 527 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,153 Until you have two quarts. 528 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,571 When you think you have completed this task, 529 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,114 present your milk to the goat farmer 530 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,283 - to receive your next clue. - No problem. 531 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,826 Okay, all right, this way. 532 00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,536 To the right, to the right, to the right. 533 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,829 Okay, there it is. There it is. 534 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,955 You got it. You got it. 535 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,416 Just grab the goat. 536 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:55,087 Jesus, she really is multi-talented. 537 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,006 Aren't these goats so cute? 538 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,091 Let me get like, six or seven when I get home. 539 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,302 I don't like them. They're demonic. 540 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,012 Why are their eyes so far apart? 541 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,638 - I'm done. - Oh, we're done. 542 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,890 Yay. 543 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,391 Okay, good to see you. 544 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,603 Hey, hey, don't, don't. 545 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,104 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 546 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,023 You gotta go over there. 547 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,150 - Get your boobs easy for me. - DJ? 548 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,735 DJ, why don't you watch the nice man do it 549 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,111 for a minute before you try? 550 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,863 I don't need to watch the man, okay? 551 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,573 Don't you remember when I had that past-life 552 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,200 regression therapy and I found out I was a milkmaid 553 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,202 who was secretly a princess? I got this. 554 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,286 Sure. 555 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:28,746 You have to hold it. 556 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,080 Okay, well, she's being a bitch. 557 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,749 That's not-- that's not my fault. 558 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,459 Pinch the top of the teat, DJ, the top of the teat. 559 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,085 Oh, Mom? Hey, Mom? 560 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,879 If you could shut up for a second, that would help. 561 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,089 You're distracting me, okay? The top of the teat? 562 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,549 What does that mean? Which end is the top? 563 00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:42,218 Just--just-- just watch the guy. 564 00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,970 Watch the guy, and then do it the way he's doing it! 565 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,680 Don't yell at me. Shut the fuck up. 566 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:47,932 I don't need to watch the guy. 567 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:49,058 Deborah, it's a Roadblock. 568 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,100 You cannot help your partner. 569 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,228 I know, Elise! 570 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,521 Gotta relax into it. 571 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,689 Oh. 572 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,149 Huh? Huh? 573 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:59,652 You gotta relax into that past life. 574 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,362 Oh, my God. 575 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:12,915 Egads. 576 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,795 - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - Calm down! 577 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,297 It doesn't work, but I will hit you with it. 578 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,758 And don't you dare touch anything in this shop, 579 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,093 you harlot. 580 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,636 I remember you. 581 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,888 You threatened to smash a Limoges vase 582 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,099 to strong-arm me into selling to Deborah Vance. 583 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,350 I did. I did do that. 584 00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:33,143 I was in a desperate situation. 585 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,188 And I am once again in a desperate situation, 586 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:38,065 but I come in peace. 587 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,943 I need your help, just some information. 588 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,820 Ha! Go straight to hell. 589 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:43,988 I'd never help you. 590 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,074 Oh, that's too bad to hear. 591 00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:52,705 Seems like you've got a lot of inventory around here. 592 00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,291 And I did happen to notice some items on your website 593 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:59,044 are heavily discounted. 594 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:01,255 Maybe times are tough? 595 00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,300 Your generation doesn't understand antiques, 596 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:05,926 but it'll come around. 597 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:08,095 It's always cyclical. 598 00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,264 Well, if you wanna wait for that to happen, be my guest. 599 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:13,350 But what if I told you that I could take half your inventory, 600 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,269 right now, at market value? 601 00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:16,812 I wouldn't believe you. 602 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:19,023 You're a lying piece of shit. 603 00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:20,399 That's wise. 604 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,860 I can't, but I know someone who can. 605 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,153 Marcus! 606 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,992 Tim. 607 00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:33,037 Mr. Vaughan. You're looking fit. 608 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,747 Thank you. 609 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:37,166 I'm decorating and furnishing an entire new casino 610 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,001 with all vintage pieces. 611 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:42,296 If you help my friend here, I'm sure we can make a deal. 612 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:43,756 - What's the style? - Art deco. 613 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:45,174 - Where? - The old Paradiso. 614 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,134 Fabulous. 615 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:51,847 I need someone who can make me an exact replica of these. 616 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:58,395 Why would you ask an antiques dealer 617 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:00,064 where you could get a fake? 618 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:04,777 Well, I seem to remember a certain psychotic bitch 619 00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:07,947 telling me that you once fooled her 620 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:09,698 with a counterfeit Georges Jouve sconce. 621 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:10,866 I remember because she called it 622 00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:12,368 the worst betrayal of her life. 623 00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:13,869 Mind you, her husband porked her sister. 624 00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,957 So I need to know who your forger is, 625 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,583 because he's obviously very good. 626 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:24,672 Well, lucky for you, 627 00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:27,341 you're looking at him. 628 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:29,134 God, I love this town. 629 00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:32,429 Can I use your bathroom? 630 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,473 No. 631 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,975 I don't see anything. 632 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,893 Well, are you looking? 633 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:40,229 - Of course I'm looking. - I don't know, Mom. 634 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:41,814 You think I'd still be running if I saw it? 635 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,273 - Okay, don't be sassy. - Wait, down there. 636 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,483 It's down there. Look, look, look. 637 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,568 There it is, God, finally. 638 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:47,778 Come on. 639 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,279 Okay, ready? 640 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,574 This will be it. This will be the one. 641 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,243 - This will be the one. - This is it. 642 00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,161 - This will be the one, okay. - Okay, Detour. 643 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:57,997 All right, break or dance? 644 00:24:58,038 --> 00:25:00,165 Break--enter a room filled with 10,000 Mexican ceramics 645 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:01,375 and smash them on the floor until you 646 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,085 find one containing a clue. 647 00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:05,379 Dance--put traditional clown makeup on each other 648 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,381 then learn a clowning dance from a demonstration. 649 00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:08,882 Once you successfully complete the dance 650 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,134 to your judge's satisfaction, 651 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,385 you will receive your next clue. 652 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:12,803 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 653 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,221 I think we should do the pottery. 654 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:16,098 What? 655 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,641 I mean, that's--it's simple, something any idiot can do. 656 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:18,809 - Why are you gesturing at me? - I'm not. 657 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,227 I'm gesticulating. I'm Italian. 658 00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:21,812 You're not Italian. No. 659 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,230 Mom, that'll take forever. 660 00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:24,481 - We are already coming in last. - I know. 661 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:26,066 We've got to make up time. 662 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,359 If we get the clown dance on the first try, 663 00:25:27,401 --> 00:25:28,777 we can pass somebody. 664 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:30,195 We're not gonna get it on the first try. 665 00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,031 - Why? Let's just try. - We're just not. 666 00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:33,407 We're--look, look at-- 667 00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:34,867 I'm not gonna put on clown makeup 668 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,618 and do a silly little dance with you. 669 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:41,040 I--I will look stupid. 670 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:43,375 No, you're worried that I'm gonna look stupid. 671 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:46,003 You think I'm going to embarrass myself, don't you? 672 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,671 Well, yes, I do. I do. 673 00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,548 I don't think you're gonna learn a clowning routine. 674 00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,842 And I don't think that you were a milkmaid in a past life. 675 00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:53,427 - Okay? - A princess... 676 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,638 - There it is. - Who chose to be a milkmaid. 677 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,848 What about your leg? 678 00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:58,974 You cannot dance with that ankle. 679 00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:00,893 What are you talking about? 680 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:02,728 I just got that steroid shot from the Mexican street doctor. 681 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,647 My tits itch, but my ankle is feeling great. 682 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,441 Do you want a chance at beating that girl? 683 00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,026 - Yes. Yes. - Do you? 684 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,110 Well, we're not gonna do it standing around 685 00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:11,695 smashing pottery for hours. 686 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,197 Yeah, well, think about Grandma's teapot. 687 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,531 You were pretty good about breaking that. 688 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,241 Shut up about Grandma's teapot. 689 00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,037 Let's go. 690 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,461 And Charlie, and Charlie, 691 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,755 and Chaplin, and Chaplin, and body roll. 692 00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:31,757 - You know how. - Well, I don't know. 693 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:33,550 Hold on a second. You gotta be a clown. 694 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,803 Do you look--how's this? 695 00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:37,179 Oh, finally. 696 00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:38,680 Took us like, eight tries, y'all. 697 00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,890 It's hard. Good luck. 698 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,600 Roll, down, up. 699 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:43,060 Hi, we're so fun and nice. Let's go. We're done. 700 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,853 Okay, let's get it. That was great. 701 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,063 - That was great. - Thank you, señor. 702 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,731 What? That was so fast. Come on. 703 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,359 We gotta--you, we'll take you. Just do it. 704 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,693 Oh, God. This is-- 705 00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:56,657 Uno, dos, tes, boom, ta, ocho. 706 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,534 - Okay. - We got the clue! 707 00:26:58,575 --> 00:26:59,827 We got the clue! 708 00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:01,620 - Oh, that was so much fun. - What? 709 00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:03,288 The judges were like, getting emotional watching us. 710 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,541 - It was really sweet to see. - Done already? 711 00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,376 - Mom, we gotta go. We gotta go. - What? 712 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,877 - We gotta go. - We don't know the dance. 713 00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:10,504 Well, we just have to try. 714 00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:11,922 - We can do it one more time. - Listen to me. 715 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,715 - We are in last place. - I know that. 716 00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:15,175 If we can get this on the first try, we have a shot. 717 00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,594 Mom, look at me. Let me try, please. 718 00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,388 Let's go, go, go, go! 719 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,439 Sorry, I--I didn't throw it. I didn't throw it. 720 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,816 That's my bad. That's my bad. 721 00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:32,151 - All right. - Go again. Go again. 722 00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,615 It's the--I um, I did the wrong foot. 723 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,200 - We're good, yeah. Yeah. - You got it? 724 00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:41,660 - You know where you went wrong? - Yeah, yeah. 725 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:42,703 Okay. 726 00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:48,083 Why? I kicked it on four! 727 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,501 I kicked it on four. 728 00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:50,502 She kicked it on four. That--I saw it. 729 00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:51,962 Start over. Start over. 730 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:53,255 Go, quick. 731 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,135 - Can I help? - I've--I've got it. 732 00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,553 I've got it. 733 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:02,723 Stop! 734 00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,479 Stop! 735 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,064 No! Oh, shit. Fuck. 736 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:13,150 Oh! 737 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,443 Come on! 738 00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,536 It's okay. 739 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:38,675 What? 740 00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:41,136 No, I really thought I got it that time. 741 00:28:41,178 --> 00:28:42,346 - Felt good to me. - What was it? 742 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:43,639 Deborah and DJ? 743 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,973 No, Phil, no. 744 00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,266 No, no, no, no! Not Phil. 745 00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:47,517 - No Phil, come on. - Oh, oh, honey. 746 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,478 - No, no. No. - Shh, shh. 747 00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:51,939 Come on. Oh, come on. 748 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,732 Obviously, I'm here for a reason. 749 00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:55,275 Ah! 750 00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:56,860 I know it's been a hard couple of days, 751 00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,654 and DJ, you've had your injury, 752 00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,280 and then you've been struggling with this 753 00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,032 - clown challenge and-- - I mean, a little bit. 754 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,868 - You've been here four hours. - I know. 755 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:06,620 And all the other teams have checked in to the Pit Stop. 756 00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:08,163 Oh. 757 00:29:08,205 --> 00:29:09,957 Deborah and DJ, I'm really sorry to tell you 758 00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:13,043 that you've been eliminated from the race. 759 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,798 We didn't do it. 760 00:29:17,839 --> 00:29:19,925 But you know what we didn't do, actually, Phil? 761 00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:21,218 We didn't quit. 762 00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,761 So you can hold your head high. 763 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:23,887 - Yeah. - You gave it everything. 764 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,389 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 765 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:26,807 I know you're upset, but are you pleased 766 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:28,850 you came on "The Amazing Race"? 767 00:29:28,892 --> 00:29:31,895 It's the best thing that I've ever done in my whole life. 768 00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:33,397 Honestly, Phil, this race, it challenges 769 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:35,691 every single part of you. 770 00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:37,234 That's what I wanted. 771 00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,903 - You know, I got to milk a goat. - Yeah. 772 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:43,949 I got to see two different cities in Mexico. 773 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:45,867 But most of all, I-- 774 00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:49,454 I got to spend more time with my mom than I have in years. 775 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:51,999 And that's really all I wanted. 776 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,126 You feel like you're really bonded with your mom? 777 00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,919 Yeah. 778 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:58,005 It was beautiful. 779 00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,715 You feel the same way, Deborah? 780 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:03,135 Yeah, same. 781 00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:05,762 Um, Phil, can I ask a favor? 782 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,597 I can't get you back on the race. 783 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:09,599 No, no, no, I understand. We're eliminated. 784 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:12,519 But if I could just take one more crack at this dance, 785 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:13,979 - I know I can nail it. - Are you serious? 786 00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:15,147 I'm serious. 787 00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:16,940 We got so close this last time. 788 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,692 I don't know if you were watching, but we got so close, 789 00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:19,901 - didn't we? - We did. We did. 790 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:21,278 Yeah, absolutely. 791 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,864 I mean, give it another shot. 792 00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:27,409 Actually, Mom, this one's for us. 793 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,369 - Okay? - Okay. 794 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,079 Okay, we can do this. We can get through it. 795 00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:32,664 We could do this. 796 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,669 Okay. 797 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:43,467 Oh, fuck me. 798 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:44,760 Fuck! Shit. 799 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,094 Just forget it. Just fuck it. 800 00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:47,512 You know what? I don't even care. 801 00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:51,058 I never cared. I don't care, Phil. 802 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,976 Stop fucking filming me. It's done. 803 00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:54,853 It's over. 804 00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:56,021 No! 805 00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:07,657 Aw. 806 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:09,034 Yeah. 807 00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:11,870 Oh, my. 808 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:15,624 Oh, they're just how I remember them. 809 00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,584 Good. 810 00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:19,878 I can feel her. 811 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,797 I can feel Mommy in the pepper shaker. 812 00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:24,383 Oh, she's in there. 813 00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:25,884 Oh, thank you, Ava. 814 00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:28,303 Thank you so much. 815 00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:30,347 But how did you convince her? 816 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:32,891 She doesn't know. 817 00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:34,810 I stole them. 818 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,103 I don't know what Deborah's gonna do 819 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,479 when she realizes you stole them. 820 00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:39,940 I don't wanna know. 821 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:43,777 Yeah, physical probably. 822 00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:46,696 You must really, really want those rights. 823 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:50,242 Yeah, yeah I do. 824 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:51,576 So, do we have a deal? 825 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:54,329 Yes, yes, you've earned them. 826 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:59,543 I'll have my lawyer call Jimmy in the morning. 827 00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:02,629 Welcome home, guys. 828 00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:04,297 Aw. 829 00:32:13,306 --> 00:32:14,850 Now boarding group one. 830 00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:16,476 Oh! 831 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:19,688 Oh, I remember boarding groups. 832 00:32:19,729 --> 00:32:21,064 Fun. 833 00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:22,816 They never let Aidan and me pre-board 834 00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:25,819 'cause they don't count MMA as military service. 835 00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:26,987 Fucking bullshit. 836 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,491 I'm sorry we lost. 837 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,493 It's my fault. 838 00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,370 If you had done the Roadblocks, we would have won. 839 00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:37,998 No, you're kind of good at everything. 840 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,291 And it's super annoying. 841 00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:41,376 No, that's not true. 842 00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:45,714 I've never been good at failing and moving on. 843 00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:49,843 I'm proud of you. 844 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,596 No, you let things roll off your back. 845 00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:55,223 During this race, you just threw yourself into everything. 846 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:56,850 You didn't even care how you looked. 847 00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:58,310 Oh, thanks so much, Mom. 848 00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:00,770 No, no, that's good. 849 00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:01,813 That's good. 850 00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:06,735 You're tougher than me. 851 00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,737 You are. 852 00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:12,782 I mean, I've always cared too much about what people think, 853 00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:15,118 'cause I know how hard it is when people make fun of you 854 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,873 or call you crazy 855 00:33:19,915 --> 00:33:21,541 like they're doing to me right now. 856 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:22,584 Yes. 857 00:33:25,212 --> 00:33:27,881 I think that's why I tried to protect you from all that 858 00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:31,384 and why I didn't let you try trapeze or, you know, 859 00:33:31,426 --> 00:33:35,013 release your reggae album or-- 860 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:36,723 Go on QVC? 861 00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:39,392 Yes. 862 00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:42,479 I over-corrected. 863 00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:44,231 I didn't let you try enough, 864 00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,483 'cause you could have handled it. 865 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:54,533 You're right--you do care what the world thinks. 866 00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:58,328 But I've only ever cared what one person thinks. 867 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,580 Who? 868 00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:01,915 Phil. 869 00:34:10,422 --> 00:34:12,259 No, no, no, no, no. Tell me again. 870 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,552 Tell me again. 871 00:34:13,592 --> 00:34:15,594 She really said, I can feel Mommy? 872 00:34:15,637 --> 00:34:17,597 Stop laughing. 873 00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:19,014 I feel really bad. 874 00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:20,641 She cried. 875 00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:22,851 This is the best. 876 00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:25,313 - It's not funny. - Oh, my God. 877 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:27,607 Well, you are an evil bitch. 878 00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,442 I've never felt closer to you. 879 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,697 Well, let's just hope I make you proud 880 00:34:33,737 --> 00:34:36,491 and make a good show so it was worth it. 881 00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,368 Even if you don't, 882 00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,286 recently, I have warmed up to the value 883 00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:43,456 of falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself. 884 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,375 Okay, maybe just say you're gonna do great. 885 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:46,918 Oh, you're gonna do great. 886 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,628 Thank you. 887 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,045 God. 888 00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:53,967 And live in five, four, three, two, one. 889 00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:55,760 Welcome back, folks. 890 00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:58,763 Okay, I am thrilled because we have 891 00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:02,517 an amazing new designer here with us today. 892 00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:06,855 Please welcome Deborah Junior Vance! 893 00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:11,276 Okay, how many times has your baby reached for your earrings 894 00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:14,070 and almost pulled your entire ear clean off your skull? 895 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:15,530 So many. 896 00:35:15,572 --> 00:35:16,906 Well, it's never gonna happen again. 897 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,533 - Thank goodness. - Do you wanna know why? 898 00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:20,243 Detachables. 899 00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:22,162 - Oh, my God. - Because they detach. 900 00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:23,913 Ah, look at them. 901 00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:25,624 That's right, no more bloody lobes. 902 00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:27,334 Moms get it. 903 00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:28,710 Amazing. 904 00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:30,337 Wow, these are flying off the shelves. 905 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:31,713 They are going fast. 906 00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:33,214 So if you want your own DJewelry, 907 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:34,966 you better call in now. 908 00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:37,844 Oh, and I think we're getting a call right now...